If I'm Being Honest...

We found out in our birthing class a while back that the amount of hormones present in a pregnant woman is roughly the equivalent of 100 birth control pills a day. With such a crazy amount of hormones operating in women with many different personalities, there is a large variety of pregnant women. Unfortunately, I am of the grumpy variety. I am, in general, just plain ornery when I'm pregnant. My poor husband and son! What a crazy person I have turned into. Seriously, it's not good. Why couldn't I have been one of the weepy pregnant girls who cries for no good reason, or during a sappy commercial, or some cheesy movie? That wouldn't be so bad. People may smile and chuckle a little to themselves to see a woman going to pieces about a Walgreens commercial. OH, but not me. I have to be the woman who yells at people in parking lots when they cut her off (sadly true...when I was pregnant with Logan) and goes to see a sappy movie that would normally make me want to go home and smooch my husband, but instead I sit and think, "This is so stupid! And so unrealistic." I nearly snapped a girl's head off at the grocery store today. Not that it's a justification, but today was a REALLY long, exhausting day. The last two days we have thought I might be going into labor because I have had a lot of contractions that get stronger and stronger, then suddenly...disappear. On top of that, Logan got the stomach flu today and threw up a grand total of 7 or 8 times. So I was standing in the grocery store, breathing through a contraction and trying to decide which would be easier to get Logan to take....the pedialyte freezer pops, or the juice, when this girl, who seriously looks like she's 14 with her baby who looked like he wasn't even a year old, comes up and says, "I will tell you, pedialyte tastes gross and kids hate it." I probably could have withered her with one look, but forced myself to smile. Even though I was really thinking, "Do you seriously think that I am buying pedialyte for my unborn child?" I tried very hard to politely say, "Yea, actually I know. My 3-year-old is sick at home and he has a hard time drinking it." To which she says, "Oh my gosh! My little boy just had the flu and the doctor said it is going around right now. Did he get it from drinking formula, because that's how I think my little boy got it?" Me: "Uh....no. He's three." Girl: "Oh, right. He probably doesn't drink formula anymore. Well, good luck." Wow. I think I showed very great restraint. But seriously, I have been thinking about this a lot. I'd like to think that normally I am a very optimistic, positive, glass-is-half-full kind of person. I remember that about two weeks after Logan was born, it hit me....I feel so happy and normal! I like people again! I don't want to bite people's heads off everytime Wal-Mart is overly crowded! It was such a beautiful day. Oh boy, I can't wait for that again. Anyway, well, that was a very long introduction to what this post is really about. I don't like being grumpy and complaining. And looking back at my blog posts, my journal entries, and facebook statuses, I have done a lot of it! So what do I do when I realize I have been complaining a lot? I make a list of things I am grateful for. Perhaps it's just to assuage my own conscience, but I decided to post my list on here. I need my family and friends to know that the real me, the happy me, is still under here somewhere. I promise to limit my list as I realize that this will be a rather long post, but hey....for those of you who know me best know, it wouldn't be true to me if it weren't long and detailed, right? :) If you decide you don't want to read the list (totally fine if you don't), just know that you are included and I am grateful for you.

Here goes:
I am grateful for:

*My family. First and foremost, my sweetheart who is so patient and caring and works so incredibly hard for us, and my baby boy, who isn't even a baby anymore, but makes my heart overflow everyday, and for my baby baby boy who I am dying to finally hold in my arms and shower with kisses and love.

*My extended family, including my amazing parents who do SO much for me, my siblings who are my best friends, and the most wonderful in-laws that any girl could hope for, all whom I love as much as my own family.

*The Gospel of Jesus Christ. Nothing in my life would be possible or have any meaning without it.

*The most amazing friends. Since Ben and I have been finished with school for quite some time now, we have often wondered why it has seemed to be Heavenly Father's will that we remain in Rexburg as long as we have. I now believe it was because of these friends. I think He knew that I would need you at this point in my life, and oh boy, have I needed you. You know who you are and I love you.

*Creativity. I am very grateful that my mom passed her craftiness on to me. I LOVE sewing and crafts. It is SO much fun creating beautiful things and brings me great peace. Laugh if you will, but it's not just a quilt or a picture frame; it is food for my soul.

*Logan's hugs, kisses, and all the hilarious things he says and does that keep me smiling and laughing, even on these grumpy pregnant days.

*Kindness, patience, and forgiveness. Heaven knows, I sometimes require a lot of it.

Okay, the list could go on and on, but those are the basics. Plus, my husband has passed out on the couch waiting for me to finish and come to bed. So, thanks for letting me share. Hopefully very soon I will be back to normal.